I was with my wife for around eight years and whilst always knowing there was something different about my sexual orientation, I just tried to ignore it in the hope that it would go away. But it never really went away, not if I'm honest. I just became a lost person and buried myself in work.

Eventually I started feeling quite down.  I'd became the least important person in my life. I couldn't have cared if I lived or died, which was so sad and unnecessary, looking back at it.

Certain things happened in my life and I decided that I wanted to live a gay lifestyle - whatever that was. I did not even know that other gay people existed outside London, never mind other married gay men.

But at the time, it didn't matter. I just wanted to not feel guilty about the things I thought about.

So I told her. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

There were times I didn't think I had the strength to make it as I didn't have anyone I could talk to. I didn't know about such things as support for people like me, and didn't even think I was worthy of support.

But that was 15 years ago and things are fine now. I feel like a real human being and able to take on the world as a full member of society.

And that's why I got involved with the Married Men's Group: to help blokes who are in a similar situation to me all those years ago.

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